Hello Dear Friends, I realize that I haven’t been writing very much lately. I’m sorry. To be honest, I’ve been in a “bad place” mentally. I’ve struggled with the loss of two very dear friends. I’ve struggled with rejection, and I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for things that I “let slide” when I should have been more on top on things. Some were accidental oversights. Some were that I’ve just been so tired that “if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it,” but it was my job to fix it, so I should have done something. I’m telling you all this because this weekend, I have finally found peace. I have come to realize that it’s “okay to not always be okay.” If this life was perfect, heaven wouldn’t be so sweet – where “God shall wipe away all tears” (Revelation 21:4), and we “may have rest from our labors (Revelation 14:13). This is my prayer.
As Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Yes, there comes a time when we must move “past the past,” and be open to see what new possibilities God may have in store for us. We know that He “will never leave us nor forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5). We are never alone. I pray for strength.
I’ve also come to the realization that I cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. I can only control what comes out of my mouth and how I respond. Therefore, I pray that I will think before I speak. I pray that I will remember to “Let your (my) conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you (I) may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6). I pray for wisdom for James assured us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5).
I pray for forgiveness for selfishly wanting my dear friends to stay on this earth a little longer. Our loss is heaven’s gain. May I rejoice with the families whose loved ones now have that for which they have been living their whole lives. Again, it just makes heaven that much dearer.
I pray that I will, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your (my) requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6). In Jesus name, Amen. Simply blessed, Courtney
3 thoughts on “My Prayer”
Courtney, I hope things are better for you. I know it’s hard to tell ourselves that sometimes we are not as strong as we’d like to be. Try to rest, without guilt, and take care of yourself!! Love you.
Thank you so much, Carol!
Courtney, we all feel as you have described yourself at times. This piece was a good one for all of us.